Elite in School and Sport: Forging Your Own Path
I’m a student-athlete at Choate Rosemary Hall, a highly demanding academic institution for high schoolers. I plan to continue pursuing a rigorous education and to compete at a high level of wrestling in college. Trying to balance both worlds can feel overwhelming. At times, it feels like I have to pick between my education and my sport. Limited opportunities for women to pursue both high-level academics and wrestling along with the challenges of being in a male-dominated sport have forced me to find unique ways to deal with stress, insecurity, and burnout. I hope that sharing my experience can help other female athletes in similar positions find their strength in the opportunities available and in creating new ones.
Academic Opportunities through Wrestling
I have high ambitions in both school and wrestling. I try to surround myself with others who have similar goals. When most people around me have decided to focus entirely on athletics or academics, I feel isolated from both sides, never able to devote myself fully to either. But others with dual ambitions certainly exist around me.
Many of my youth teammates were recruited to private schools right out of middle school and are now going to Ivys and other prestigious institutions from there. I always wanted the same type of opportunities. Attending boarding school, as I do now, had always seemed impossible. Having access to an institution with resources to support my academic goals, along with a coach dedicated to helping me reach my athletic potential while building a girls’ program, is more than I’d ever hoped for. These opportunities can and do exist, but you have to seek them out. Tell your support network what you're looking for so they can help you make it happen. I’m incredibly fortunate to be where I am; being at the forefront of emerging programs doesn’t always work out. When it does, the payoff is incredible, but I suggest substantial research in preparation for big decisions like these.
Navigating the Unequal Playing Field
As fortunate as I am to be at Choate, we still don’t have a girls’ team, and most of the universities I’m currently applying to—Brown, Columbia, Cornell, Princeton, Stanford, MIT, etc—don’t have teams either. My male teammates have used their success in sports to access academic opportunities because these schools already have a place for them. As a female in a male-dominated sport, deprived of the same opportunities as my male counterparts, it feels like the world is forcing me to choose between school and wrestling. Academic opportunities for women in wrestling are rapidly emerging, but they’re still few and far in between compared to what’s available to men.
Insecurity and Burnout
The college process is already stressful, but applying to schools without wrestling teams adds to my insecurity and makes me wonder if I belong. Still, the idea of starting something new is exciting. Wrestling has given me so much, and I want to give back by creating opportunities for girls who come after me. Whether it’s being the first girl on a team or turning a club into a program, I want to be part of that change and help close the gap between men’s and women’s wrestling.
Every day, I struggle with insecurity and burnout. My goals are big, and sometimes, they make me feel small and not good enough. But I know if I let those thoughts win or start dreading school or wrestling, I won’t become the trailblazer I want to be.
Wrestling has been a huge part of my life since I stepped on the mat at seven, and my passion for it has only grown. The same goes for my love of learning. But when I’m pulled between the two, it can feel overwhelming, and the joy is replaced with stress.
Finding Balance
The best piece of advice I’ve always struggled to take is, “Let go of the outcome.” I care so much about school and wrestling that it becomes difficult to deal with failure—an inevitable part of life. The unnecessary pressure I put on myself leads to a negative feeling about the sport. The times I’ve found the most success in all realms of life have been when I let go of outcomes, pressures, and worries. I perform at my best when I trust that the work I’ve done is enough, accept that loss is a possibility, and compete for myself rather than a result. I still strive for big goals, but they’re not worth it if I lose my passion for what I do along the way.
At practice, I smile all through live goes, sprints, and cutting weight—not because it’s easy, but because of how I’ve decided to reframe the challenge. It’s important to find joy in the most brutal of moments. The same goes for the classroom; as taxing and difficult as classes can be, I love learning. I look for joy in the work—that feeling from a physics problem making sense for the first time or an essay finally coming together. Choose to find joy in your responsibilities each day and watch them feel less burdensome.
Practicing gratitude has allowed me to shift my perspective; though I don’t journal every day (don’t tell my coaches), jotting down what I’m grateful for after a long day helps me see my stressors as privileges, not burdens. I also never realized how much stress I could relieve by simply communicating. When everything feels overwhelming, there’s nothing wrong with asking for an extension or bumping a weight class for a week. Talking openly with my coaches, teachers, and parents has helped me through situations I never thought I’d manage. People are much more willing to help when you’re honest with them.
Health
I often become wrapped up in a million responsibilities and commitments, but taking care of my mental and physical health has to come before everything else. That means active recovery and purposeful practices.
I’ve been fortunate enough to avoid illness and injury, but I’m well aware of how quickly everything I’ve worked toward in sports can be taken away from me (it is, in part, why I put such emphasis on my academics). Taking care of my body is not just necessary for physical success and longevity in the sport but also crucial to protecting my love of wrestling. The pressure I place on myself to outwork everyone makes rest days and mental health days seem unacceptable. However, taking care of myself, body and mind, leads to greater eventual success. I’ve had to teach myself that it’s okay to take a step back when I’m feeling overworked. Not only can it be good for my body, but it can also serve as a reminder of how much I love wrestling.
Final Thoughts
My hope with this article is for young female athletes to see that it’s possible to pursue both academics and athletics, but without balance, that pursuit may swallow you whole. I’ve illustrated ways I’ve found to reach for high goals while avoiding burnout and protecting my love of the sport: by balancing my body and mind, communicating my needs and struggles, and finding gratitude and joy through an often difficult journey, especially in such an unforgiving sport. I hope my tactics are useful to others who seek greatness in the wrestling room and the classroom.
What often became the hardest part for me was feeling alone in my journey. If you get anything from this, know you are not alone. We all fight burnout at some point. We all have insecurities that try to hold us back. We all have struggles, and they make us stronger.
