Beyond the Boys’ Club: Embracing a Unique Path for Women in Wrestling
The seeds were planted by the dreams and aspirations of women who aimed for gold medals on the world’s highest stages. They broke barriers and reshaped reality, showing how deeply wrestling could resonate with women. Just like a plant needs support to thrive, women’s wrestling needs allies to help it flourish and create space for women. Male wrestlers who have loved wrestling helped shape it, too. Without pivotal figures like Coach Terry Steiner and many others before and during my time, we would have had dreams without direction.
Fast forward to today: our women wrestlers have accomplished so much, defining what it means to be a woman in combat sports. From the 2021 women’s Olympic team’s iconic heart signs, to the Iowa women’s wrestling team’s “For Her” slogan, a new standard of strength is emerging. These shifts highlight how women are creating their own paths and redefining the mindset within the sport.
The Traditional Mindset and Wrestling’s Tough Standards
When something has always been done a certain way, it becomes the standard. In wrestling, that traditional mindset involves battling preventable injuries, cutting extreme amounts of weight, and always pushing to extremes to be the strongest and fastest. That’s the double-edged sword every woman in wrestling confronts at some point.
There’s a belief that “girls aren’t tough unless they wrestle boys,” implying that girls who progress more quickly are somehow better than those still developing. In girls’ wrestling, it’s often suggested that wrestling boys makes a girl tougher, but is this mentality really helping our sport grow?
Mind and Body Connection in Athletic Performance
If I had known years ago that my mind and body were connected, I would have understood how restricting water and eating less affected my period, my weight, and my mental health. I might have avoided developing an unhealthy relationship with food and body image. After being diagnosed with depression, it was challenging to understand why everything felt so difficult and why my performance dropped. I had treated my body like a machine, expecting it to run on empty because I thought success came only from intense weight cuts, long workouts, and heavy lifting. I followed what high-level guys were doing because that was the “successful” model.
I wish there was an easy way to say that climbing out of depression is simply a choice. Sometimes you can be in so deep, it feels like you don't have the tools to pull yourself out. It takes the people around you to help uplift you. Remembering what you’re working for, taking it step-by-step, and being okay with asking for help is your how you begin the climb out. This challenging journey has helped me discover where I should place my focus when I train, especially as a female.
The Message We Send: Boys vs. Girls in Wrestling
The message we unconsciously send to young women in wrestling is that boys are inherently tougher. If we beat them, it somehow makes us “better than the other girls.” But if this is what we believe, then why are we training girls the same way as boys? Doesn’t that contradict the idea? Does this mindset come from outdated views about women, or from a belief that boys are naturally tougher? If that’s the case, why are we applying identical expectations and training to women?
Breaking Free from Traditional Models
Once I let go of the need to be the strongest and fastest, I started to realize the model I had been following wasn’t built for me. When coaches encouraged me to embrace who I was, I noticed I got stronger. My body responded better whether I was on my period or recovering from an intense workout. Wrestling became more personal—I adjusted practices to focus on repetition and natural speed, rather than explosive, hard sparring sessions. I started to see that women’s wrestling is its own sport. While men’s and women’s wrestling share moves and rules, our approaches are different. And they should be.
I want other girls and women to learn to listen to their body and find a balance in how to approach their training. It’s like learning to bake— you have to get the right mix of ingredients, and sometimes it takes a few tries to figure out what works best without overdoing it.
Women’s Wrestling as a Unique Sport
In the end, embracing the differences is what will push the sport—and the women athletes—in new, meaningful directions. Women’s wrestling isn’t just an extension of men’s wrestling; it’s an evolution of its own. It’s time to give ourselves permission to define what success looks like on our terms. The strength and power that women bring to the mat are undeniable, and as we continue to break through barriers, we continue to build a legacy that’s uniquely ours.
